My friend Ross is the only person I know who thinks about dachshunds the way I think about dachshunds.
The last time I saw him, we played a game called “good-not
good”, in which we would show each other pictures of dachshunds on our iPhones, and decide whether that dachshund was good or not good.
For example, wire-haired dachshund, not good.
Classic dachshund, good.
Long-haired dachshund, not good.
We don’t like anything on our dachshund that obscures its length or its tiny, ridiculous little legs. We’re not saying that other dachshunds are bad, we just prefer Dachshund Classic.
Ross has taken to texting me with dachshund news, and today he told me some that lifted an otherwise average day. Picasso had a dachshund! His name was Lump! LUMP! And Picasso LOVED HIM. SO MUCH.
If you don’t believe me, here are the most adorable pictures you’ll ever see in your whole tiny miserable life.
Here are some things about Picasso and Lump, his best friend in the whole world.
- Lump first belonged to the photographer David Douglas Duncan.
- Lump was originally purchased for Duncan as “company” for his Afghan hound, who would treat Lump “much like a toy, rolling him around Duncan’s apartment”. This is obviously the best and worst mental image on earth.
- One day Triple D was visiting Picasso (cos you know, let’s just visit Picasso or whatever) and took Lump with him, riding shotgun in his Mercedes Benz.
- According to this adorable
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articleI found, Lump “explored the grounds, learning the hard way, what was a sculpture, and what was alive.
Then it was time to go home. But Lump, in his stubborn wiener dog fashion, decided that he would make Picasso’s home, his home…and that was that.”
- Stubborn wiener dog fashion!
- Picasso and Lump fell instantly in love. “This was a love affair. Picasso would take Lump in his arms. He would feed him from his hand. Hell, that little dog just took over. He ran the damn house.”
- Dachshunds running houses!
- Lump died on the 29th of March, 1973 at the age of 17. Surgery for a spinal conditi0n ten years earlier had left him with the “walk of a drunken sailor”.
- Picasso died ten days later, presumably of a broken heart.
- Picasso’s wife Jacqueline took her own life in 1986, having never recovered from Picasso’s death.
- Lump is the only dachshund to be responsible for the death of two people.
Posted by Caroline