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The World's Most Passive Aggressive Student House Rules List

Students are the worst. We know this. Some of us remember thinking “Why does everyone think students are the worst? We aren’t the worst,” and then you stopped being a student and you realised that everyone thinks students are the worst because students are THE WORST.

You want proof? You want facts? Last night, Friend of Work In Prowess @NuclearTeeth posted this tweet.

 

And attached to it, was THIS.

 

There are three possible explanations:

1. All Bants.

In which case, oh boys,  your bants are dryyyyy.

2. Semi-Bants.

“Now everyone, we just wanted to lay down a few house rules, but don’t worry, we also like to have a bit of fun here!” they said, feverishly thumbing a stained copy of Settlers of Catan.

3. No Bants.

In which case, we’re dealing with a house full of what I’ve been told is known as “Sheldon Coopers”

 

Additional facts:

Neil is a cat.

Michael is, we assume, also a cat.

“Pranks” and “sexual experience” feel like they may be speculative situations.

When you think about it, a cafetiere is just a teapot that can clench.

Waffle iron?

Apparently, sugar was left on the table this morning and the fine will be enforced.

 

What’s your favourite rule? What would you add? Where’s the money going? Let us know in the comments, or on Twitter.

About Work In Prowess

Work in Prowess is the ravings of a mad king left to rot in a besieged palace

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For any and all editorial inquiries please contact Caroline O'Donoghue the site editor.