We love having new writers to speculate endlessly about the personal lives of, so if you’d like to write for Work in Prowess, for the love of God don’t be shy about it. You can send all your submissions to email@example.com, and I will most likely read them while in the bath, chuckling about the fragile empire I have managed to build.
We have a pretty open door policy on what you can submit, and as long as it passes a four-lol test, we’re interested in running it.
Some General Guidelines
Try to avoid navel-gazing. We love personal experiences, but we don’t want the TV Movie of the Week version of your personal experiences. Think “What I Learned From My Mother’s Drug Addiction” rather than “Feel sorry for me about my mother’s drug addiction”.
Topical is good, but avoid the obvious. Be bold, not sentimental. I want “Why Russia Hates the Gays” not “Russia hates gays, isn’t that just awful?”
Don’t be afraid to play around with format. One of the most popular things we’ve ever done was a poem about a poem. Don’t feel like you need to be confined to a straight, first-person argument.
Don’t be mean for the sake of being mean. Don’t hate celebrities for the sake of hating celebrities. Don’t go for obvious targets.
Don’t shag on endlessly about feminism.
Don’t undersell yourself. I mean, do, because we’re not paying you at all, but don’t send me an email saying something you wrote is “kinda okay”. Women, you are the fucking worst for this. If it made you laugh while you were writing it, it was probably funny and you must never doubt the absolute divinity of that moment.
Do try to keep it to under 1,000 words.
If I’m being a shit and not getting back to you, why not ask Duncan?He’s a much nicer person, anyway and you can email him on firstname.lastname@example.org.